Please excuse the distraught tone you hear in this entry yall, I still haven't completely recovered from the series of unfortunate events known as Wheel Chair Drizzy's summer 09, which is why I didn't do a post about his biggest fail whale until now :(I come here to cope with the happenings, both good and bad, that my favorite celebrities go through. This is my pop culture therapy so to speak, so here I find myself again, typing my sadness away while consuming my 3rd pack of ho-ho's {Downright shameful}
Now go back with me, to earlier this summer when Drake performed at the.... B.E .. That award show. As you recall, he performed on a stool{??} and no one could figure out why?? We thought he might have been getting ahead of himself as an artist. The buzz was going to his head. Was he too cool to shuck and jive like his counter-part, Weezy "Sperm game proper" F. Baby?? Nah, that couldn't be it. After the Hoodrat Happenings that occured on June 28 it was revealed that Knee break Drake had torn his ACL and could barely walk. Ahhhh okay, that explained everything. {Except that constant Droopey Dog expression on his face} So we fell back and awaited his return. It came to light that his first official video for "Best I Ever Had" was soon to see the airwaves and we couldn't wait! Especially after we heard that Kanye "Sugar Daddy game precise" West was set to direct.... Well, we all know what a fail whale that was, no need to re-hash to ugly details...
And then, OH WOE IS ME, that man took a tumble more epic than the time that hefty young lady commited treason against that poor helpless piece of furniture!! refresher
It was bad news for that kid from Ontario. I meant Toronto^_^ Not only did he hit the ground stumbling in front of thousands, but he hurt himself so bad that he couldn't even 2 step on stage with his goon to a goblin running mate on tour. Come to find out, you're supposed to give an injury that serious more than 2 weeks notice. HUH.. Who knew?? I took this shit hard though. Fallen Idol syndrome or whatever the fuck... Alls I know is, he's killin me wit these mishaps.. Because I'm not done. On the ground look down......
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Clearly this is joke {<==That was me trying to convince myself as well as you, the reader}. I.... I really don't even know what to say.... There are so many things that are un-right about this picture I don't know where to start... But now I see what everybody is talkin about. Drake is NOT good-looking. He's talented as hell. But he looks like Frankenstein's illegetimate half-Jewish child. And he seems to be surrounded by other creatures like himself. Not a good lookin dude at the table...
I plan on ending this session of my latest hour of therapy with more lamenting.... Why is it that Drake, who can do no wrong in the hip-hop community, keeps fuckin up in the media. Wack ass videos, terrible stage performances, his face.... Why won't he pull it together?!?!?! I love him with all that my nigga essence has to offer, but he's hurting me with all this coonery. I want you to be great Aubrey Graham!! You have to want it to, or this shit will never work. Maybe you should go back to mixtapes for a while. At least until after your surgery. You could rap about all your latest mishaps... So Far, No Good anyone??
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