... Now come here lemme dope you....

So, after months of turmoil, rumors and accusations, court dates, forehead jokes and all things jungle-bunny related, we received an "I'm sooooorrrryy" from Chris Brown.




And I was scarred because although I continuously support Graffiti Breezy, even after his pyschotic episode x10, I know that most people don't. And that fake ass "Lemme make some shit up to get these niggas off my back, but grab me some of my previous spot-light" apology didn't do much of anything to help.


Every blogger and news show and your irrelevant ass aunt who think she know everything about the goings on in Holly-Hood had something to say about that Orange Glow, cowl neck, cashmere masterpiece that C.B. used to hypnotize the masses. Oh yeah and the innanet was abuzz with whatever the fuck he was tom'bout in the video too...


So cut to a couple weeks later. He's being seen out and about more than ever now, hanging out with The Stoop Kids{or whatever the fuck yall call em} playing basketball with the Lady Rutgers.{Word??} Apparently saying you're sorry is the key to getting yourself out of the corner without a definite answer as to whether or not you're actually off punishment.

And then earlier this week the masses found out that Chris Brown's sentencing has been pushed back until August 27, and also that Rihanna has "allegedly" requested that the protection order keeping her and Breezy at least 50 feet apart be removed. WHAAAAA??? And along with that news came much speculation that Chris Brown and Rihanna have secretly been cup-caking and boo-loving. It makes sense now. They're back together. But HOW? WHY? Chris Brown supposedly Mayweathered the DOG-SHIT out of Ri Ri, so why in the name of Tina Turner's wig would they be back together?? I couldn't figure it out... UNTIL I saw this pic.. Then it all fell into place.




{Insert school-girl like giggling here}
It ALL makes sense now. What a Girl Like Ri saw in the crump-dancing, long-limbed, young man. ALL his limbs are long {hehehe}. Every question I had about these star-crossed lovers from the start of their relationship was answered with one view of this picture. Why they were even together in the first place. Why he was allowed to live after he put hands on her. The rumors and whispers that she had quite a temper when it came to all things C.B. related.... She was DICK-MATIZED. Clearly Chris Brown was diggin in the kitty just right and she couldn't handle it when she thought someone else might have been gettin a taste of her favorite dish. {<== The start of that series of unfortunate events} and now that he's back to being semi-relevant again she can't handle the withdrawls she's going through, which has her scatter-brained ass breakin laws and making bad decisions in the name of love... Personally, I've never had some man meat strong enough to make me let a nigga spend the night, much less keep him around after he done two-pieced my ass. But then again I've never been two-pieced so its a moot point really.


I'm not really sure what the future has in store for these two damn fools{in love} but I do know that Chris Brown needs to leave that island juice box alone before the spirit of Calypso rains down on his ass. His career is already one more bad move away from being rendered useless and getting back with the easy, breezy, Barbadose Cover Girl seems like that last bad move. And I just really want Rihanna to sink her life-destroying claws into someone not as talented and revered {is Pleasure P single?? How bout Jeremih?}. But then again the black-widow-esque vibe she's giving off might scare away the toughest of celebrities. I heard 50 Cent won't even go near her. Sheeesh... Let us pray.

Poor Lil Tink Tink...

http://globalgrind.com/content/792070/Drake-quotBest-I-Ever-Hadquot/

**Please note that the above video is just collateral damage from whats sure to be a 20 car pile-up of a fail formerly known as Drake Drizzy Rodger's career.

Okay, so maybe thats a bit to harsh but I gotta say, yall boy Aubrey been fuckin up as of late. Okay so again, that might be a step to far. What I think it really could be is that it's one too many fuck ups within the span of such a short time. I mean he just bombed his debut performance at the Hoodrat Awards that aired on Sunday, and here we are on Thursday, reveling in an abundance of T & more T with the release of Drake's video for "Best I Ever Had".



Now I can openly admit to being a HUGE Drake stan, because he's still a talented artist despite his past couple of "Playas fuck up too" moments. But his most recent decisons have made me sit back and wonder what the fuck he was thinkin about...

But he isn't to be burdened with ALL the fault, yall know a nigga like Drake rolls deep and it aint no fun if the homies can't have none, or untill the homies fuck up what you got til its gone.... Lets asses some of the damage shall we??

For his first "official" video, Drake decided to give Kanye the reigns and enjoy being in the spot-light for once, and while you might think this a wonderful opportunity that is sure to be a cornicopia of creativity, high-fashion, and Amber Rose, you would be wrong to think so... There was hardly no creativity to speak of {think Degrassi: Bigger, Blacker, and Uncut}, Drake and his video hoochies looked regular as hell, and I didn't see Amber's T or A not one damn time!!!! Kanye didn't do shit for us but serve up a big ass plate full of Titty Salad!! The video didn't have a damn thing to do with the song, and wit all them sweater puppets dancin around I almost forget what song the video was for. I feel bad because I used to like the song before all the major radio stations got a hold of it, and I was really excited about the video, and to finally see that soft-core, fetish tom-foolery Ye tried to sell us is dis-heartning because I already know BET aint gon go nowhere near that shit. They know they're on their last leg with the public right now, but I'm pretty sure MTV will find a place for the video in their late night/early morning rotation.

I recently theorized that all of Drake's fans should chip in and get the boy some Zoloft because he is clearly down in the dumpy-dumps and he's taking it out on his career, and thats not how its supposed to end. So all of you out there who, like me, still keep So Far Gone in heavy daily rotation and know that he has so much more to offer us, lets just hold hands and sing an inspirational song with the hope that Drizzy hears our pleas and gets his shit together for the sake of humanity!!!

"THE SUN'LL COME OUT, TOMORROW. BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROOOOOOOOOWWWW...."

Cut em some slack will ya??

I swear, yall black folks act like BET the ones that promised yall the 40 acres and a mule....

Of course, I'm talking about yall's high expectations, BET's low-standard deliverance, and nigga's subsequent disappointment with The 2009 BET Awards...

I, myself, spent the whole night trashing and smashing those who should have known better and glorifying those that were praise-worthy via Twitter and Facebook, so I was there with yall and I experienced the highs and lows of the Hoodrat Grammy's as well. Now my first reaction was filled with resounding chagrin and distress because of course I felt, just as everyone else did, that the show should have been more about The King of Pop Michael Jackson. But I let things marinate for a while, I read the absolutely hate-filled things that others had to say, and thought about how I really felt in regards to the BET Awards and I came up with some responses that Imma give to yall in a couple different parts....

Part 1: Historically Speaking....
Lets put aside our tear-stained Bedazzled white gloves and tight leather pants for a minute, forget that MJ left us and just concnetrate on the main issue at hand. The BET Awards has NEVER been great from beginning to end. Since its conception, each year the ratio of good moments to bad moments has ebbed and swelled depending on a number of different things from the actor/comedian/performer BET would get to host, to the people they had lined up to perform. Every year there are things we like about it and things we don't, and it goes without saying that this year was no different.

Part 2: Time Management
Yall know Michael died on a Thursday right?? Thursday evening is when we found out, to be exact. So that left Friday & Saturday for BET to pull an epic tribute out of there asses for The King of Pop and yall expected it to be mind-blowing?!?!? Lets look at this logically; first and foremost, when have yall EVER heard of black folks being productive on a Friday?!?!? Not never, thats when, so don't yall start trippin now. They prolly made hella phone calls on Saturday morning tryna orchestrate something decent for yall, but of course nothing is ever good enough for the likes of us.

Part 3: Who yall supposed to be, the queen of England or something?!?
Now I know they coulda done better than 3 songs and a bunch of niggas runnin around with 1 glove and some high-waters on, but all this outta line shit yall were expecting was ridiculous!!! "... I heard Chris Brown and Ciara was gon dance together." "... Beyonce gon sing some songs" "... I heard Usher gon be there" GTFOH!!! They had 2 days to pull together what they did.. 2 DAYS!! Yall lucky they got Bobby Brown's crazy ass and the rest of New Edition off the streets long enough to perform, but NOOOOOO yall want BET to COMPLETELY re-arrange a show they been workin on since LAST YEAR in a matter of 48 hours... Chris Brown is a felon now, so he can't go to far without the legal system jockin his every move. And yall know Usher is divorcing his man-wife Tameka Foster, but they just supposed to drop all that shit and break their backs for some last minute shit that yall niggas was prolly gon spit at no matter what?!? Yall so trifling....

Part 3: Its called optimism people...
Nobody ever stopped to think that maybe BET'nem was gon give yall a little taste of something at the Awards show and put together a nice little special when they get some more time?? They might get the rest of the Jacksons together and do something big later on but yall not even gon try to give BET the chance to be great and I'm hurt... They know better than we do that MJ is a superstar who deserves huge things and I'm sure that they're hurting just as bad as we are that they couldn't do more for MJ within the alloted time, but for some reason I have hope that they're planning big things for our Tragic Mulatto poster-boy and I need yall to have faith too..

... Now yall can call me a hypocrite if you want cuz I know I hated on they asses just as much, if not more, than almost everybody else, but I got to feelin bad cuz I looked at things differently. Nobody from BET, not an executive or a secretary or that nigga from the mail-room, came on tv and promised us anything in the way of a spectacular tribute to MJ, but thats what we came to expect, and it was unfair. Thats like going to a family reunion and expecting your 90 year old great aunt Pearl to still be makin her famous apple pies.

And let me tell yall something else, right here and now, if MTV comes with a wonderful tribute performance to MJ, then take it for what it is. Don't yall get to comparing what BET did to what MTV will do in the future cuz them muthafuckas got months to prepare what they're gonna do, where as BET had days. I feel a big ass plate of Benedict Auja comin soon, a.k.a me turnin my back on black people, and not for the hate that yall was servin BET, but for the ass-kissin that yall gon hand out to MTV when their time for homage comes around. My heart is heavy and my head hangs in shame...