Poor Lil Tink Tink Chapter II: Take over, your break's over....

Did you guys get the Fallout Boy reference?? If so then you can obviously you can see where I'm going with this..


Please excuse the distraught tone you hear in this entry yall, I still haven't completely recovered from the series of unfortunate events known as Wheel Chair Drizzy's summer 09, which is why I didn't do a post about his biggest fail whale until now :(

I come here to cope with the happenings, both good and bad, that my favorite celebrities go through. This is my pop culture therapy so to speak, so here I find myself again, typing my sadness away while consuming my 3rd pack of ho-ho's {Downright shameful}


Now go back with me, to earlier this summer when Drake performed at the.... B.E .. That award show. As you recall, he performed on a stool{??} and no one could figure out why?? We thought he might have been getting ahead of himself as an artist. The buzz was going to his head. Was he too cool to shuck and jive like his counter-part, Weezy "Sperm game proper" F. Baby?? Nah, that couldn't be it. After the Hoodrat Happenings that occured on June 28 it was revealed that Knee break Drake had torn his ACL and could barely walk. Ahhhh okay, that explained everything. {Except that constant Droopey Dog expression on his face} So we fell back and awaited his return. It came to light that his first official video for "Best I Ever Had" was soon to see the airwaves and we couldn't wait! Especially after we heard that Kanye "Sugar Daddy game precise" West was set to direct.... Well, we all know what a fail whale that was, no need to re-hash to ugly details...


And then, OH WOE IS ME, that man took a tumble more epic than the time that hefty young lady commited treason against that poor helpless piece of furniture!! refresher

It was bad news for that kid from Ontario. I meant Toronto^_^ Not only did he hit the ground stumbling in front of thousands, but he hurt himself so bad that he couldn't even 2 step on stage with his goon to a goblin running mate on tour. Come to find out, you're supposed to give an injury that serious more than 2 weeks notice. HUH.. Who knew?? I took this shit hard though. Fallen Idol syndrome or whatever the fuck... Alls I know is, he's killin me wit these mishaps.. Because I'm not done. On the ground look down......

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Clearly this is joke {<==That was me trying to convince myself as well as you, the reader}. I.... I really don't even know what to say.... There are so many things that are un-right about this picture I don't know where to start... But now I see what everybody is talkin about. Drake is NOT good-looking. He's talented as hell. But he looks like Frankenstein's illegetimate half-Jewish child. And he seems to be surrounded by other creatures like himself. Not a good lookin dude at the table...

I plan on ending this session of my latest hour of therapy with more lamenting.... Why is it that Drake, who can do no wrong in the hip-hop community, keeps fuckin up in the media. Wack ass videos, terrible stage performances, his face.... Why won't he pull it together?!?!?! I love him with all that my nigga essence has to offer, but he's hurting me with all this coonery. I want you to be great Aubrey Graham!! You have to want it to, or this shit will never work. Maybe you should go back to mixtapes for a while. At least until after your surgery. You could rap about all your latest mishaps... So Far, No Good anyone??

... Now come here lemme dope you....

So, after months of turmoil, rumors and accusations, court dates, forehead jokes and all things jungle-bunny related, we received an "I'm sooooorrrryy" from Chris Brown.




And I was scarred because although I continuously support Graffiti Breezy, even after his pyschotic episode x10, I know that most people don't. And that fake ass "Lemme make some shit up to get these niggas off my back, but grab me some of my previous spot-light" apology didn't do much of anything to help.


Every blogger and news show and your irrelevant ass aunt who think she know everything about the goings on in Holly-Hood had something to say about that Orange Glow, cowl neck, cashmere masterpiece that C.B. used to hypnotize the masses. Oh yeah and the innanet was abuzz with whatever the fuck he was tom'bout in the video too...


So cut to a couple weeks later. He's being seen out and about more than ever now, hanging out with The Stoop Kids{or whatever the fuck yall call em} playing basketball with the Lady Rutgers.{Word??} Apparently saying you're sorry is the key to getting yourself out of the corner without a definite answer as to whether or not you're actually off punishment.

And then earlier this week the masses found out that Chris Brown's sentencing has been pushed back until August 27, and also that Rihanna has "allegedly" requested that the protection order keeping her and Breezy at least 50 feet apart be removed. WHAAAAA??? And along with that news came much speculation that Chris Brown and Rihanna have secretly been cup-caking and boo-loving. It makes sense now. They're back together. But HOW? WHY? Chris Brown supposedly Mayweathered the DOG-SHIT out of Ri Ri, so why in the name of Tina Turner's wig would they be back together?? I couldn't figure it out... UNTIL I saw this pic.. Then it all fell into place.




{Insert school-girl like giggling here}
It ALL makes sense now. What a Girl Like Ri saw in the crump-dancing, long-limbed, young man. ALL his limbs are long {hehehe}. Every question I had about these star-crossed lovers from the start of their relationship was answered with one view of this picture. Why they were even together in the first place. Why he was allowed to live after he put hands on her. The rumors and whispers that she had quite a temper when it came to all things C.B. related.... She was DICK-MATIZED. Clearly Chris Brown was diggin in the kitty just right and she couldn't handle it when she thought someone else might have been gettin a taste of her favorite dish. {<== The start of that series of unfortunate events} and now that he's back to being semi-relevant again she can't handle the withdrawls she's going through, which has her scatter-brained ass breakin laws and making bad decisions in the name of love... Personally, I've never had some man meat strong enough to make me let a nigga spend the night, much less keep him around after he done two-pieced my ass. But then again I've never been two-pieced so its a moot point really.


I'm not really sure what the future has in store for these two damn fools{in love} but I do know that Chris Brown needs to leave that island juice box alone before the spirit of Calypso rains down on his ass. His career is already one more bad move away from being rendered useless and getting back with the easy, breezy, Barbadose Cover Girl seems like that last bad move. And I just really want Rihanna to sink her life-destroying claws into someone not as talented and revered {is Pleasure P single?? How bout Jeremih?}. But then again the black-widow-esque vibe she's giving off might scare away the toughest of celebrities. I heard 50 Cent won't even go near her. Sheeesh... Let us pray.

Poor Lil Tink Tink...

http://globalgrind.com/content/792070/Drake-quotBest-I-Ever-Hadquot/

**Please note that the above video is just collateral damage from whats sure to be a 20 car pile-up of a fail formerly known as Drake Drizzy Rodger's career.

Okay, so maybe thats a bit to harsh but I gotta say, yall boy Aubrey been fuckin up as of late. Okay so again, that might be a step to far. What I think it really could be is that it's one too many fuck ups within the span of such a short time. I mean he just bombed his debut performance at the Hoodrat Awards that aired on Sunday, and here we are on Thursday, reveling in an abundance of T & more T with the release of Drake's video for "Best I Ever Had".



Now I can openly admit to being a HUGE Drake stan, because he's still a talented artist despite his past couple of "Playas fuck up too" moments. But his most recent decisons have made me sit back and wonder what the fuck he was thinkin about...

But he isn't to be burdened with ALL the fault, yall know a nigga like Drake rolls deep and it aint no fun if the homies can't have none, or untill the homies fuck up what you got til its gone.... Lets asses some of the damage shall we??

For his first "official" video, Drake decided to give Kanye the reigns and enjoy being in the spot-light for once, and while you might think this a wonderful opportunity that is sure to be a cornicopia of creativity, high-fashion, and Amber Rose, you would be wrong to think so... There was hardly no creativity to speak of {think Degrassi: Bigger, Blacker, and Uncut}, Drake and his video hoochies looked regular as hell, and I didn't see Amber's T or A not one damn time!!!! Kanye didn't do shit for us but serve up a big ass plate full of Titty Salad!! The video didn't have a damn thing to do with the song, and wit all them sweater puppets dancin around I almost forget what song the video was for. I feel bad because I used to like the song before all the major radio stations got a hold of it, and I was really excited about the video, and to finally see that soft-core, fetish tom-foolery Ye tried to sell us is dis-heartning because I already know BET aint gon go nowhere near that shit. They know they're on their last leg with the public right now, but I'm pretty sure MTV will find a place for the video in their late night/early morning rotation.

I recently theorized that all of Drake's fans should chip in and get the boy some Zoloft because he is clearly down in the dumpy-dumps and he's taking it out on his career, and thats not how its supposed to end. So all of you out there who, like me, still keep So Far Gone in heavy daily rotation and know that he has so much more to offer us, lets just hold hands and sing an inspirational song with the hope that Drizzy hears our pleas and gets his shit together for the sake of humanity!!!

"THE SUN'LL COME OUT, TOMORROW. BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT TOMORROOOOOOOOOWWWW...."